I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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