I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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