I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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