I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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