I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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