I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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