I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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