I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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