I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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