I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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