I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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