I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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