I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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