I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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