I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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