I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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