I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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