I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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