I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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