I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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