I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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