I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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