I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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