I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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