I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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