I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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