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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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How do you make Halloween great again?
By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?
He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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What is the strongest animal?
A snail because it carries it's home.
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