I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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