I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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