I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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