I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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