I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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