I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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