I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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