I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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