I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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