I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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