I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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