I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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