I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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