I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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