I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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