I tried water polo but my horse drowned.



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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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