I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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