I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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