I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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