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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why don't honest people need beds?
They don't lie.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?
One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
"Feel the World."
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?
They take short cuts!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A nectarine!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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