I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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