I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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