I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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