I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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