I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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