I tried water polo but my horse drowned.



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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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