I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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