I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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