I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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