I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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