I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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