I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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