I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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