I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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