I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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