I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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