I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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