I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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