I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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