I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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