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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?
Because he was under cover.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite
......... one jar.
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What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
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Why did the thief take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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