I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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