I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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