I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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