I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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