I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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