I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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