I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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