I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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