I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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