I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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