I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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