I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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