I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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