I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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