I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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