I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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