I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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