I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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