I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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