I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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