I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

or


How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
Canvas not available.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
Canvas not available.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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