I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

or


I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
Canvas not available.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
Canvas not available.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
Canvas not available.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
Canvas not available.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
Canvas not available.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
Canvas not available.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
Canvas not available.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
Canvas not available.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
Canvas not available.

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