I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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