I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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