I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
Canvas not available.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

Canvas not available.

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
Canvas not available.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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