I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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