I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

or


I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

Canvas not available.

or


What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
Canvas not available.

or


What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
Canvas not available.

or


What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
Canvas not available.

or


What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
Canvas not available.

or


How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
Canvas not available.

or


What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
Canvas not available.

or


What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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