I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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