I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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