I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

or


What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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