I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
Canvas not available.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
Canvas not available.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
Canvas not available.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

Canvas not available.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

Canvas not available.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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