I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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