I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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