I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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