I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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