I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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