I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
Canvas not available.

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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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