I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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