I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

or


Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
Canvas not available.

or


What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

Canvas not available.

or


What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
Canvas not available.

or


Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
Canvas not available.

or


What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
Canvas not available.

or


Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
Canvas not available.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
Canvas not available.

or


How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

Canvas not available.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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