I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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