I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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