I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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