I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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