I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

Canvas not available.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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