I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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