I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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