I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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