I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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