I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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