I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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