I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

or


There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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or


Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

Canvas not available.

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

Canvas not available.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

Canvas not available.

or


What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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or


What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

Canvas not available.

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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