I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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