I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
Canvas not available.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
Canvas not available.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
Canvas not available.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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