I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!

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