I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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