I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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