I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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