I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

Canvas not available.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
Canvas not available.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
Canvas not available.

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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