I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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