I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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