I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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