I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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