I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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