"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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