I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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