I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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