I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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