I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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