I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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