I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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