I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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