I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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