I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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