I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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