I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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