I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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