I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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