I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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