I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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