I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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