I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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