I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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