I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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