I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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