I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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