I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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