I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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