I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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