I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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