I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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