I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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