I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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