I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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