I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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