I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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