I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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