I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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