I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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