I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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