I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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