I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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