I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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