I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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