I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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