I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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