I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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