I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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