I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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