I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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