I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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