I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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