I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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