If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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