If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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