If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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