If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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