If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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