If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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