If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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