If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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