If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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