If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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