If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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