If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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