If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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