If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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