If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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