If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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