If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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