If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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