If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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