If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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