If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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