If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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