If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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