If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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