If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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