If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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