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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me
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