If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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