If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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