If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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