If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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