If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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