If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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