If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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