If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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