If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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