If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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