If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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