If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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