If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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