If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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