If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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