If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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