If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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