If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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