If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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