If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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