If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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