If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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