If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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