If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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