If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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