If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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