If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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