If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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