If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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