If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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