If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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