If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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