If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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