If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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