If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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