If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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