If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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