If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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