If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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