If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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