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If you don't know what introspection is,
you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.
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Why did the tree get a computer?
To log on.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.
It’s a little fishy.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, but they're really only one.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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