If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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