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If you don't know what introspection is,
you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept.
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Why was the ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?
The batter.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?
Night manager at McDonalds
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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