If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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