If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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