If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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