If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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