If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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