If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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