If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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