If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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