If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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