If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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