If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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