If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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