If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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