If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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