If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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