If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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