If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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