If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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