If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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