If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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