If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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