If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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