If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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