If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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