If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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