If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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