I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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