I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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