I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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