I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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