I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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