I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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