I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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