I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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