I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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