I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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