I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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