I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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