I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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