I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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