I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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