I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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