I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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