I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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