I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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