I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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