I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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