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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?
Beef jerky
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?
It needed a root canal.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?
In the dictionary.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?
Have an ice day!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A silicon.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
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