I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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