I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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