I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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