I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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