I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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