I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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