I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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