I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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