I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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