I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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