I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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