I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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