I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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