I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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