I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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