I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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