I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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