I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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