In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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