In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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