In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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