In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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