In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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