In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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