In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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