In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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