In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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