In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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