In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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