In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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