In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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