In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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