In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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