In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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