In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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