In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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