In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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