In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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