I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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