I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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