I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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