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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,
he's bisatchel.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,
it was a shitzu."
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?
You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.
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