I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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