I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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