I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky

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