I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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