I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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