I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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