I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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