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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,
he's bisatchel.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.
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How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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