I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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