I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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