I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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