I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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