I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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