I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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