I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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