I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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