I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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