I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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