I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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