I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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