I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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