I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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