I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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