I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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