I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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