I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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