I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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