I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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