I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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