I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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