I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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