I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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