I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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