I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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