I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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