I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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