I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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