I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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