I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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