I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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