I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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