I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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