I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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