I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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