I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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