I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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