I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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