I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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