I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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