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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.
I decided to give it a shot!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?
Thorium.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?
Kitty Perry
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"
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