I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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