I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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