I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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