I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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