I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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