Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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