Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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