Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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