Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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