Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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