Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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