Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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