Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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