Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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