Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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