Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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