Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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