Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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