Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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