Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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