Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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