Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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