Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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