Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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