Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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