Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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