Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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