Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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