Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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