Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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