Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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