Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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