Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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