Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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