Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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