Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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