Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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