Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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