Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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