Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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