Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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