Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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