Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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