Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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