Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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