Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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