Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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