Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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