Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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