Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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