Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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