Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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