Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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