Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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