Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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