Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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