Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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