Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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