Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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