Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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