Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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