Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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