Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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