Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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