Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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