Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
Canvas not available.

or


Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
Canvas not available.

or


What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
Canvas not available.

or


How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
Canvas not available.

or


How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
Canvas not available.

or


Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
Canvas not available.

or


Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
Canvas not available.

or


How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
Canvas not available.

or


What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
Canvas not available.

or


How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026