Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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