Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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