Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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