Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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