Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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