Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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