Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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