Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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