Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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