Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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