Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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