Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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