Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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