Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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