Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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