Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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