Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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