Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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