Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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