Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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