Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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