Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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