Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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