Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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