Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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