Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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