Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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