Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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