Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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