Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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