Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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