Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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