Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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