Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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