Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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