Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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