Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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A seal walks into a club...
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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