Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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