Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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