Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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