Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.

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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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