Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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