Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.


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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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