Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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