Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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