Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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