Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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