Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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