Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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