Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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