Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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