Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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