Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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