Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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