Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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