Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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