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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snowbody!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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How does a dog stop a video?
He presses the paws button.
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I'll call you later.
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
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How do you catch a unique bird?
Unique up on it.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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How can you tell that a train just went by?
It left its tracks.
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