Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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