Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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