Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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