Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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