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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.
Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A cheetah
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How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?
A centipede on its back!
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How do you make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.
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