Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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