Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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