Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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