Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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