"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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