"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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