"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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