"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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