"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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