"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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