"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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