"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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