"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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