"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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