"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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