"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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