"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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