"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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