"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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