"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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