"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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