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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."
"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?
An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?
Snow White Supremacist.
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What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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Which day do fish hate?
Fryday
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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