"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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