"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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