"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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