"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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