"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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