"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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