"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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