"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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