"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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