"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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