"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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