"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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