"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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