"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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