"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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