"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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