"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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