"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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