"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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