"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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