"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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