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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."
"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?
A baboom
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?
Stinker Bell.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?
A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?
Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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Why don't bears wear shoes?
What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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