"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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