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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."
"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?
He had no patients.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?
Forever 21
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?
Hiss-story
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?
She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What day of the week tastes the best?
Sunday!
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