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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."
"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?
Bison
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
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Old chemists never die,
they just stop reacting.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?
Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?
It ran out of juice!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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