"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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