"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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