My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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