My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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