My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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