My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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