My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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