My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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