My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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