My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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