My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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