My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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