My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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