My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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