My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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