My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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