My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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