My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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