My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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