My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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