My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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