My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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