My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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