My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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