My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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