My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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