My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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