My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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