My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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