My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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