My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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