My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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