My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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