My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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