My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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