My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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