My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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