My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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