My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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