My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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