My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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