My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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