My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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