My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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