My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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