My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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