My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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