My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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