My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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