My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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