My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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