My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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