My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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