My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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