My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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