My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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