My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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