My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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