My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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