My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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