My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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