My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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