My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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