My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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