My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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