I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
or
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
or