My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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