My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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