My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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