My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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