My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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