My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.

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