My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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