My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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