My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.


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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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