My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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