My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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