My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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