My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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