My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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