My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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