My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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