My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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