My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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