My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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