My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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