My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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