My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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