"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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