"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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