"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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