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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that."
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?
Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day
but I couldn't find any.
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
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What`s black & white & red all over?
An embarrased mime!
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What washes up on small beaches?
Microwaves.
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