"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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