Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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