Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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