Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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