Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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