Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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