Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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