Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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