Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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