Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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