Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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