Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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