Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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