Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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