Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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