Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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