Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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