Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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