Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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