Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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