Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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