Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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