Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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