Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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