Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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