Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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