Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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