Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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