Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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