Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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