Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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