Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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