Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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