Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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