Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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