Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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