Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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