Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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