Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

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