Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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