Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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