Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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