Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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