Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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