Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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