Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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