Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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