Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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