Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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