Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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