Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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