Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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