Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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