Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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