Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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