Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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