Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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