Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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