Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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