Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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