Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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