Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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