Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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