Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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