Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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