Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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