Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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