Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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