Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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