Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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