Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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