Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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