Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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