Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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