Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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