Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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