Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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