Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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