Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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