Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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