Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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