Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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