Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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