Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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