Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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