Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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