Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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