Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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