Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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