PMS jokes are not funny...

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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