PMS jokes are not funny...

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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