Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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