Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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