Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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