Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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