Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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