Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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