Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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