Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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