Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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