Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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