Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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