Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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