Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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