Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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