Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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