Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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