Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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