Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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