Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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