Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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