Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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