Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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