Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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