Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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