Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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