Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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