Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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