Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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