Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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