Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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