Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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