Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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