Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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