Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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