Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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