Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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