Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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