Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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