Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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