Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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