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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.
Blue sky at night: day.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?
You're Hired.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a sea saw.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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