Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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