Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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