Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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