Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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