Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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