Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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