Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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