Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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