Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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