Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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