Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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