Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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