Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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