Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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