Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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