Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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