Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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