Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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