Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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