Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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