Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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