Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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