Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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