Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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