Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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