Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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