Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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