Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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