Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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