Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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