Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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