Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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