Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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