Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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