Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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