Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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