Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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