Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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