Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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