Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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