Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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