Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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