Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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