Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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