Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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