Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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