Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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