Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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