Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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