Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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