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Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
The fish.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?
By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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