Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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