Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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