Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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