Woke up in the fireplace.
or
It needed a root canal.
or
To get to the baaaaarber shop
or
None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
or
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
or
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
or
By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
or