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Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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Clowns divorce:
custardy battle.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
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What is the strongest animal?
A snail because it carries it's home.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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