Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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