Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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