Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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