Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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