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Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A natural major.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?
Ask Cheese.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?
Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Stuck
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How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
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