Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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