Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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