Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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