Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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