Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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