Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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