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Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?
Super Pickle!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?
They both dribble.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?
2 years old.
Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.
Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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