Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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