Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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