Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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