Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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