Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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