Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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