So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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