So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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