So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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