So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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