So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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