So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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