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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,
it was Wedgie Kray.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?
You're Hired.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?
The Elfabet.
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What has four legs but never stands?
A Chair!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the painter say to the wall?
I got you covered.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?
They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
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