So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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