So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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