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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,
it was Wedgie Kray.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I'll call you later.
Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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