So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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