So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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