So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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