So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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