So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!


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