So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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