So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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