So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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