So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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