So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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