So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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