So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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