So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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