So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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