So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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A seal walks into a club...
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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