So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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