So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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