So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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