So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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