So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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