So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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