So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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