So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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