So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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