So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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