So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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