So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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