So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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