So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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