So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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