So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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