So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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