So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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