So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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