So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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