So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).


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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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