So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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