So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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