So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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