So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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