So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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