So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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