So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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