So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?


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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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