So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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