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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,
it was Wedgie Kray.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?
Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.
but enough about Kanye West.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?
Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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