So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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