So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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