So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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