So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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