So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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