So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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