So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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