So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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