So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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