So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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