So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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