So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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