So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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