So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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