So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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