So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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