So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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