So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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