So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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