So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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