So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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