So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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