So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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