So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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