So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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