So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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