So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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