So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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