So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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