So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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