So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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