So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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