So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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