So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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