So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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