So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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