So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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