So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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