Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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