Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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