Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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