Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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