Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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