Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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