Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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