Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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