Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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