Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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