Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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