Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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