Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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