Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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