Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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