That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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