That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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