That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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